


Our Choice

by findinglavender



Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:01:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28607163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/findinglavender/pseuds/findinglavender
Summary: Our choice.They would discover what that meant. Freely and unconstrained. Together.
Relationships: David Budd & Julia Montague, David Budd/Julia Montague
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	Our Choice

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for these two, and writing fic in general.
> 
> It's by all means no where near amazing or perfectly written. I'm still practising and finding my voice.
> 
> I am happy to take any form of constructive criticism if you have any to offer - don't feel you have to be nice :)
> 
> So please (perhaps, maybe, possibly?) enjoy!
> 
> \- T

The door had opened and flourished her in a dim light. A hand had beckoned her out, coaxing her with words lead by directives and apologies, before a small piece of paper was pressed into her hand, her eyes blinking blearily with the inability to put a face to the silhouette.

The voice soon faded as the figure rushed off, her own whispers of helplessness ignored as they vanished in the darkness of the night, leaving her alone once more. Pulling her tethered coat close to her chest, she wandered aimlessly into the darkness, deciding to head towards a streetlamp that dusted the pavement in its orange lustre.

Even though it had been crumpled and creased, the message had still managed to be legible.

An address. Sketched quickly and she assumed in a hurry, if the torn edges and lopsided handwriting had been anything to go by. She had hoped for a bout of recognition. Anything to give this distorted world some clarity. Instead, she was left with nothing but the bitter cold that gnawed at her skin, especially her feet who were exposed to the onslaught of winter for her rescuer had neglected to give her shoes. And that was assuming they had even noticed she hadn’t had any to begin with.

And that was where it left her. With a crumpled note and an inability to recognise where she was. Roaming empty streets under a star glazing sky should have been a wondrous affair, but now as she began her trek she was having second thoughts. It was the pressing loneliness. Specifically, the barren space to her side. Once she had been accompanied everywhere. Every move monitored, closely watched, calculated and noted. Now as she passes another streetlamp, eyes casting over the trees and buildings around her in search of something that could possibly trigger a sense of familiarity, she found that she missed it. Having a constant shadow to escort her own. To feel protected. Safe. And most of all secure. A feeling lost to the blinding light that had turned her life upside down and shrouded her in a darkness she almost mistook for death.

*******

Raising her hand, Julia knocks on the door, the sound more quiet than it should’ve been on the wooden surface. She blames her body’s sudden unsteadiness. A nervousness she knew she couldn’t blame on the cold. Fingers wander to her hair, as she drags them through it, the languid descent jolting slightly, catching on a knot she knew had been weathered by the period of her capture. Would he even recognise her like this? A face tattered by growing bruises, a lip inflamed by a healing cut and matted locks that hung loosely around a gaunt face that reflected the thinning weight of her body, that too was slowly admitting defeat and succumbing to her exhaustion.

Footsteps echo from beyond the door, drawing closer, too soft to be that of a man’s. Julia takes an unconscious step back and shakes her head. She should’ve known better than to listen to a stranger spouting nonsense about freedom when she still felt caged in her body’s vulnerability and utter incompetence to navigate a world she had once been so sure of fixing.

The door jolts open and her face blanches. She was right. It was a woman, and a pretty one at that. Blonde. Young. And annoyingly familiar for someone she has never met.

“Uh…Uh..” Her voice lodges in her throat as she struggles to find the words to explain her predicament, fondling the note in her hand in the hope to coax some encouragement.

“I’m….I’m Jul—” She tries again but this time she stops herself. Would she even know her? Remember her? But the way her eyes widen and her lips part, she thinks she might. However, before the young woman begins to say something, another voice joins the fray, startling them both.

It was distant but gradually drawing closer, the Scottish tone more vibrant than she had ever remembered it. It had always been cold and distant, subdued and even soft when he had been with her, on and off duty, changing persona’s and fitting a voice relevant to that character that changed between protection officer and lover. Though this high spirited voice that called his wife’s name didn't coincide with a memory and that left a sickening feeling in her stomach.

With eyes now burning, she scrunches up the note and self-consciously gathers her coat tightly around her. “I’m sorry. This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come.”

Her voice sounds pitiful and weak, and that makes her insides quench even more. Feet shuffle on the concrete, scraping on the hard surface as she hastens to make a speedy getaway before she can embarrass herself further. Maybe they had forgotten. Not just them. But everyone. Not that it was hard to imagine. She was never liked or loved by her citizens, colleagues or even her family. And the one person she thought that might have cared, has moved on too. Built a life for himself that didn’t exist in her shadow or in the enclosed walls of a hotel room. She was happy for him, she really was. But where did that leave her now?

_Alone. Unbearably alone._

“Julia?”

It was so soft. So beautifully soft. And she couldn’t help but turn, her body groaning at the swiftness of the movement. David’s there, and he’s whole. Fuller almost. Healthy and glowing. And so solid that he doesn’t disappear.

A tear slowly trickles down her face.

_Real._

She craves to touch him, just to be sure he won’t disintegrate when he’s within reach of her grasp. But the distance between them scares her. So instead, she finds his eyes. The ones she had often seen when her’s had been too exhausted to stay open. The ones that would stare at her from under white wisps of silken sheets and remind her to wake up every day just so she could see them again when her body would succumb to the darkness that eventually overwhelmed her.

David’s walking towards her now. Slowly and cautiously, like he’s afraid that she might run again. Her chest puffs in apprehension as her limbs begin to shake, lips parting with the need to inhale more air. A chorus of “Daddy! Daddy!” sounds behind him but neither of them take notice, only Vicky who awakens from her stupor and ushers them inside, quietly closing the door behind her.

Julia feels smaller now that he’s standing before her. She can feel him. And the safety that he imbues. Neither of them say anything. They don’t need too. But his eyes are wondering, and hers are too, as they take each other in, tracing, sketching and colouring both of their faces with old memories and newly acquainted ones of strangers who have either flourished or deteriorated in their time spent apart.

Her lips are quivering now as she watches him reach across to place a hand on her cheek. It’s hesitant and unsure at first, but when his palm finally cups her face, she almost collapses from the palpable warmth that he transfers to her cold skin. His breath hitches at the contact, perhaps believing, for the first time since he’s seen her, that she’s here with him now. Not quite complete, but whole enough for it to be real. She leans into him and closes her eyes as his thumb begins to trace soft patterns on her skin, slowly but surely coaxing her back to life.

He says her name again once her face is resting in both of his palms, and she opens her eyes, watching as he crumbles under her gaze, the reverent anguish so raw that it frightens her. Her breathing grows in an unsteady climax before uncontrollable sobs quake her body, shattering her resolve as strong arms pull her towards him with an unwavering delay.

She had forgotten what it felt like. To be held. To be caressed in those forgiving arms that had learned to welcome her surrender. To relinquish her heart, body and soul as he had to her. A sin that had condemned them both to damnation. But yet here they were, still holding each other even after they had fallen.

With her cries muffled by the muscular planes of his chest, she presses her face closer, breathing him in, his scent warping her senses and placating her breathing to subdued puffs of air. She lets her taught arms soften as she collapses into him, and he holds her tighter, pulls her nearer so that there is no distance between them.

That just makes her cry more. She can tell that he is crying too for his body shudders against her, the small vibrations echoing across her frame as her arms cleave around him, painting pathways across his back. To where she didn’t know. But she was certain that they would always join, connecting after moving in a full circle, to reunite only after being divided. Much like them both.

They breathe together now as his chest expands against hers, creating a regular rhythm for her to follow and an acclimatisation that was now filled with softened breaths and murmurs of consolation. Their heads caress each other, nuzzling and prodding, pushing and pulling, gently glazing rough skin across smooth worn velvet, before lips are pressed to her forehead. They are so gentle its almost unbearable that she’s on the hinge of breaking again. Except this time he’s patching her up as they dance across her face, kissing away the tears and mending the cracked and bruised skin beneath them.

His hands fondle her face once more, fingers playing with her hair as they lose themselves in the tresses of dark locks, before he pulls away and they are looking at each other again. It’s still and it’s quiet, and hazel hues are drowning in blue opals. And he lets her. For he’s there with his currents and his waves, cradling her in the water of his oceans where the only threat is them and their ability to break an already broken heart.

But they’re swimming now, lapping on the surface, too close to be apart but far enough for them to find themselves in one another. She thought it would be suffocating. To suddenly be consumed by feelings that had been festering beneath the surface, culminating as it was slowly being rediscovered after remaining dormant for so long. Like it had been waiting. For death? For the promise of life? Forgiveness? For the choice that was left unsaid?

For the tattered bond to heal. Not the one between a former Home Secretary and Protection Officer.

But the one between Julia and David. The one born from hate. And the one that thrived from their differences and evolved from their desire to indulge in an affair where they learned how to love and unknowingly surrendered their hearts.

The very ones that were beating now in unison. Uncontrollably and erratically. Herald by the tender warmth that passed between them and erupted from their touch. An overwhelmingly beautiful treasure. Found and rediscovered after being buried for so long, the promise of its salvage and undoubtable cherishing more alive than the life that they had lived before.

“You’re alive.” David breathes, the soft timbre of his voice radiating awe and a certainty that had once been undermined by the impending truth of his denial.

Julia wants to smile, believing it now more than ever. “I’m not sure I really died.” She says tenderly, bequeathed with the sudden urge to touch him.

“But you almost did.”

Her fingers dance close to his temple. “I heard you almost did too. Not once...” they pause on raised skin, “but twice.”

David catches her hand and pulls it to his lips. “You shouldn’t know that.”

“No.” She replies absently, withdrawing her gaze but keeping her hand in his. “And you shouldn’t have done it.”

There’s a pause and a moment of contemplation.

“I know.” His whisper hangs in the air unanswered. For there were no words needed to be shared. Much like there were no words needed to explain how she knew and how he knows. How she got here and how he had waited unawares. How death had become deathless and how they had survived. But these would be left unsaid for now. Just until they’re strong again and ready to find comfort in each other’s demons.

With this conscious silence, nature serves to remind them of its presence. The night suddenly becomes darker and the air suddenly becomes colder, causing them both to shiver involuntarily.

“Come on,” David squeezes her hand and tugs it gently. “We should go inside.”

Julia hesitates, and it saddens her as much as it does David as she watches his face crumble at her inept attempt to follow him. There are a multitude of reasons as to why she shouldn’t enter his life again, specifically the one who is young and blonde, and now has a name and who has always had the pertinent role in his life.

“Your wife-“ Julia begins only to be finished within the second, failing to pull herself from his grip.

“Ex-wife,” David cuts in easily, his furrowed brow moulding into one unmarried by lines and creases. “I see the kids more now,” he adds to reassure her, smiling in at her in a way that she can’t help but return.

“I’m glad.”

A silence ensures again as they fall into each other smiles.

“But,” David continues with a tone more serious than before, “this is your choice as much as it is mine. I still don’t know how this was even possible or how it could’ve have happened, but you’re here with me now and Julia,” He pauses and averts his eyes, taking a breath before returning his gaze to her, “that’s all that matters.”

He’s paused and Julia feel likes she should say something. Instead, her thumb is running in circles across his skin, the soft motions encouraging his voice while she listens, each of them sharing the feelings that could only grow with time as they would learn to heal and find their place in the world.

“I want you in my life Julia. In our life. The one where you’re by my side and I’m beside you. No job, no protocol, no duty except the one that we have to each other.”

She nods and her mouth widens, her eyes stinging with the strain to compress her tears. “Our choice,” she affirms, the words, an echo from the past, sounding stronger and more sure than it had, for losing him had been deluded by betrayal but finding him had been an awakening for her misguided love.

She didn’t walk away from him this time for there is no obligation for her to fill. They lace their fingers together and warm lips are pressed to her skin again. Julia squeezes his hand, and then he pulls her towards him. She follows. Feet stumble because their cold, but they move with the certainty of their decision.

_Our choice._

They would discover what that meant. Freely and unconstrained. Together.


End file.
